..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
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Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders