Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.