My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.