He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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I forgot how hot balto sounded
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
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Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize