How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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