when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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