Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize