You smell like a Billy Joel song
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize