is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize