My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
