it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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