Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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