i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
