you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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