So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
