I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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