Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
