We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
