Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
