I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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