Whats the glycemic index on semen?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
