hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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