it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
soo... how was my night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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