I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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