how can u be prego again
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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