Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize