There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're facebook friends in real life
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants