4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.