Plan B is the new Plan A
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
