How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
