Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
