I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
