Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
