so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
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at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
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Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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