He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I need water and some morals
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
