Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
