I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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