Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?