i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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