i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
