would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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