Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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