Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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