I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
