I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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