Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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