I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
