i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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