chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
