Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
