I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You pole danced in your parka.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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