Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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