would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
