he wants to bone in the snuggie
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
As shirtless as possible
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
