Did I show you my penis last night?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
