I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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