Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
