Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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