Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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