Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
