I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
